As you all know the band 28 Days, of 28 Days Pty Ltd (World famous for their Rip it Up , Sucker, and What’s the Deal line of energy bars, that were banned from shelves in Mexico after they were found to contain asbestos) were wrongfully accused of massive tax evasion late in 2007. As a result assets were frozen, merchandise seized, and the highly profitable sweatshops that produced all sorts of 28 Days memorabilia, and converted back into broadband technical support call centres (Simon Hepburn – “…it really hurt us. those kids were like our own children……some of them actually were” – Wall St. Journal 2007).
28 Days were forced to shut down all operations and lay low ’til the whole thing blows over’. The band waited patiently off the coast of Dubai, being very careful to remain at all times in international waters to avoid arrest. They enjoyed sipping cold beer on “Yacht’s the Deal?” their 40 ft luxury vessel, waiting for their good names to be cleared. But modern pirates, dressing nothing like they do in the movies and preferring machine guns to parrots, are quite hard to detect and can be easily mistaken for other party dudes, or freestyle motoX pro’s.
28 Days soon found themselves yachtless and drifting in 15ft tinny drinking seawater. Things looked grim indeed (although some good sized flathead 3-4 lb were landed on strips of sunburned skin and squidgy soft plastics in the 100mm bloodworm wriggler). As they drifted aimlessly more tragedy hit. Lifetime friend, pet house-cat, and recently appointed sole-director and owner of 28 Days Pty Ltd, ‘Mister Fluffington’, died in a freak moped explosion in Amsterdam’s red light district. Dutch police reports state alcohol, traces of cocaine and ecstasy were found in the failed, business tycoon’s bloodstream at time of death; although the body, the moped, and the briefcase containing important documents were never recovered. The Australian government demanded to see the body of Mr Fluffington but Dutch authorities were evasive and were accused of hindering investigators. The A.T.O investigation was doomed to fail. Mr Fluffington, common cat, and one-time talentless hip hop mogul – aka Fluff Daddy , aka Sean ‘Fluffy’ Coombs , and most recently, P. Kitty, was at the time of the accident supposedly on his way to the Australian Tax Office in Canberra. As per the order on the A.T.O. subpoena, the next day, he was to deliver the 28 Days Company’s financial records, from before the time he took legal responsibility of all debts.
Every cloud has a silver lining though. Although Fluffy will be sorely missed, last Tuesday the Tax office was forced to drop its case against the boys due to all evidence being destroyed in the embers of Fluffy’s charred vespa, leaving the band free to return to Australia. Upon receiving the good news from their lawyers 28 Days convinced some fisherman to tow the tinny back to dry land where villagers helped them fashion a sail from palm leaves and hemp in return for one day, coming back to play a show for them. But stipulated that the band ‘just play their old stuff’ or not to bother.
Stocked with fresh beer and limes to stave off scurvy, the band set sail and look forward to one day returning. If 28 Days have the wind and weather on their side they are expecting to sail into Australia in January for a select few shows and welcome home party. It will be business as usual with some new music written during their much anticipated and hyped ‘drinking saltwater’ phase. The boys found dehydration very conducive to the creative flow. Song’s like ‘ I could murder a stubby right now’ and ‘that does it. I’m gonna drink my own piss!’ Show a softer side to the band where as the song ‘water’ is simply a microphone in a glass of salt water. It’s two seconds of feedback then the mic shorts out. After that it’s six minutes of buzzing. Not their best song but very mature and arty. The critics are raving ‘They are an AWESOME new band’ – Rolling Stone- 1999.